The Touch of a Legend: My Memories of MS Amma

M.S. Subbulakshmi has been an inspirational figure in my life for as long as I can remember. She was at the peak of her career during my childhood days and I distinctly remember going to her concerts often. Each of those concerts was not mere concerts but experiences in themselves! As a child, I remember walking out of her concerts and feeling emotionally elevated, even when I was not aware of the technicalities of the compositions that she sang.

As it turned out, my parents were friends with M.S. Amma, and whenever she would come to Bombay, they would get an opportunity to meet her. My mother used to often take me with her to these meetings and I would always anticipate seeing her after her performances.

I remember an incident of one such afternoon when I was probably 13 or 14 years old. It was during this time that my voice was going through a transition stage (a woman’s voice also undergoes a mild transition in her teenage years). I was sitting with her when she asked me to sing any song that I wanted to. I felt thrilled at the opportunity, but nervous at the same time. I decided to sing raga Varali, as it was the one I had recently sung at a competition and had won a prize for. M.S. Amma was listening intently as I sang, but when I hit the highest note, my voice started choking (as a result of my voice undergoing the transition). I felt extremely embarrassed at the thought of humiliating myself in front of such a great artist. I felt as if it was the end of my life.

Seeing me in this state, M.S. Amma got up from her place, came and sat next to me, and held my hands. Looking straight into my eyes, she said, "You’re scared, aren’t you? You’re worried that you won't ever be able to sing properly again. Shall I tell you something? My voice went through worse than what yours is going through at the moment. When you listen to me sing, do you not realize how hard it has been for me to manoeuvre my voice? If I can do it, so can you. Keep asking questions, keep asking for help. You'll one day become a singer to be proud of and people all over the world will sing your praises.”

I was so young at that time and she was the Goddess of music. At that moment, I felt as if everything was possible and that my future held immense possibilities. So, whatever she had told me that day left a lasting impact on me for the rest of my life. From that day on, whenever I face a problem, I go back to that memory to draw strength from it. The impression that she had upon me with those words changed my destiny. It taught me to take a newer approach to difficult situations and it shifted my perspective of what I can actually achieve in life.

Such a kind, a sensitive and generous soul was M.S. Amma. She took the time that day to make me understand that she believed in me and that kind gesture changed my life forever. She was such an authentic person, who shared her personal struggles with someone much younger than her so that the young girl could relate.

Friends, that day I learned another lesson - we should always be kind to everyone; you never know when your words can become a source of support and strength for someone else and how that can change their destiny.